challenged

chal·lenge:
A test of one's abilities or resources in a demanding but stimulating undertaking.

life is full of challenges. definitely. each and every one of our lives consists of many different challenges that sometimes forces us to exert to the very best of our abilities. the trials and tribulations that God throws at us, demands mostly patience and understanding to overcome. yet, challenges are not bad. challenges make us realize a lot of things. our limits, patience, level of tolerance, understanding and acceptance.

had a terrible day in sch yesterday. it was my science module and bloody frustrating. throughout 3 or 4 weeks, i have been doing all the work with Fai. Fai has been a great help, especially when she has never touched on chemistry before. but i can that she is trying her best to help out. both of us are simply tired of our members' attitude. they are too dependent on us. can u imagine, that while Fai n me are doing our work, they would be playing games? and when our lecturer approaches our group to see our progress, they will simply say that Fai n me have completed the worksheet and that the lecturer should check on us instead! pathetic! disgusted! useless! yes, i know i give my best in my presentations and work. but that does not mean i can do everything myself. yes, i am the oldest in class but i am not a superhuman. i will try my best to help you people to get good grades but u people need to help me!

there will obviously be challenges in love too. dear, if i need to run a thousand miles just to see you, i would. i need to carry a thousand boulders just to see you, i would. if i need to give up every dollar i have, just to see you, i would. all i need is time and attention from you. i do not need treats, fame or money but just your attention and time. i seriously miss u sayang. i know that ur busy with attachment n all but do try to find time for us to spend together k? i love u dear!! i was not angry at u yesterday. in fact, i'm beginning to understand ur work commitment. whenever u are working, u tend to lose urself in it and forget other factors. think of me k?

i wish i could meet u soon. cos i miss u so. love u dear.

^BUMP^

It has been a tough week. I had my understanding tests, rugby trainings and so much more. Work has been all right so far. Ok, maybe I should be working only on Saturdays instead of taking on the whole weekends. Then again, I won’t be earning much if I decide to work on Saturdays.

I’ve been skipping rugby trainings lately. I feel that I cannot commit to so many things at one time. I am 23 years old and at this point of my life, I should be deciding which path I should be heading on. I have spent 10 years of my life dedicated to rugby. It is definitely my passion. Why? Passion is when you sprained your ankles a gazillion times and you strap them up, get back on your feet and start playing again. It is when you get cuts and bruises on every part of your body, yet you laugh and keep on playing. It is when the skin on your shoulders got torn off and yet you ask for more. It is when you had your finger dislocated and had it popped back in, just keep on playing. It is when you break your left wrist, had metal supports implanted and removed, and yet you continue want to play. After 10 years, I feel that I have had my fun. Besides, I should concentrate on my running nowadays. I miss running at night.

Understanding tests are getting tougher as we progressed. I am now left with 3 weeks before I ‘unofficially’ end my semester. I realized that National Service has helped me quite a lot. I am now more patient and dedicated towards my studies. Syukur Alhamdulilah, I feel that I’m able to get better at adapting to new problems that may arise.

She has started her attachment on Monday and officially completed her first week yesterday! It was definitely tough to talk to her through out the week. She gets very moody after work and I tend to back off whenever she’s like that. I do hope God will give me the strength to face up these challenges. I know I can do it! Haha! Very gung ho! Anyway dear, you still have around 6 more weeks to go. I wish you all the best and Insya’Allah, everything will be smooth sailing.

We went out yesterday but everything started to fall apart. She was very late due to family problems and I got very pissed off. Emotions flew and I guess, everything isn’t what they are supposed to be. We had dinner, yes, was a nice moment. Then she said something of the blue which sparked off a certain sensitive side of me. I got irritated and we both were very much silent after that.

To my dearest love, I may not be the perfect person for you but I am always trying to be the best one for you. I do hope you can see how sincere I am towards our relationship. At times, I fail to immediately see how much you care and how understanding you are towards me. But I will definitely realize it, after a few moments. My love towards you will never change, despite any problems that will arise. Never, dear. I just hope you are there, with me, trying to overcome those obstacles. And dear, we shouldn’t let our feelings get the better of us. I am sorry for getting upset. I am sorry for not talking much yesterday, I was just simply angry. The remedy is really simple. It is just your smile. Or maybe, a treat from you. Haha!

I cherish the time we spent all these while. Work has been all right and it is all because of you. I have plans in the future, and I hope God has set my path in conjunction with my plans. That which does not kill you, only serves to make you stronger. Insya'Allah. I do hope whatever happens, only serves to strengthen our ties. I love u.

something to ponder

lets take a look on a few things regarding relationships:

We all deserve to be happy. Most of us want to be happy in healthy and loving relationships. What makes relationships healthy? They have six basic qualities —

• respect
• trust
• honesty
• fairness
• equality
• good communication

Healthy relationships help us feel better about ourselves and about our place in the world. They make us feel safe. Unhealthy relationships make us feel unsafe.

Respect

Without respect, relationships can be hurtful. Many of us think it takes a slap or a punch to hurt someone. But insults and unkind words hurt just as much. They can destroy our self-esteem — how we feel about ourselves.

Trust

Without trust, relationships can cause jealousy and unhappiness. Jealous partners doubt the other's love or commitment. Building trust — by talking, listening, being honest, respecting each other's feelings, and having fun together — is the best cure for jealousy.

Honesty and Fairness

Without honesty and fairness, relationships can be hurt by lies and anger. No one is always right — or wrong. In healthy relationships, partners admit their mistakes and can expect forgiveness.

Equality

Without equality, unhappiness is likely as one partner takes control. In healthy relationships, neither partner is "in charge."

Good Communication

Without good communication, there are a lot of misunderstandings. In healthy relationships, partners are open and listen to each other.

Love and Anger

Love shouldn't hurt. In happy and healthy relationships, partners try not to hurt each other. It's true that we all get angry sometimes. But when we do get angry, we have a choice — we can express ourselves in a healthy way, or we can do it in an unhealthy way and hurt someone else.

Remember: You and your partner always have choices — even when angry.

With reference to: http://www.plannedparenthood.org/sexual-health/sexual-health-relationship/is-this-love.htm

for her...

alot of things happened since friday! everything was like a rush and i feel good that most of it happened.

on fri, we went out on a date to watch the latest of the Harry Potter movie. the show was abit draggy but was still ok. love the effects though. we walked around vivo city and had dinner before i sent her off. dear, i love that look u have when ur concentrating on sumting. i just wanna lay back n feel the warmth of ur touch.

she came down to bugis on saturday nite. surprised me. yeah, she often does that. wouldn't tell me beforehand and she would just suddenly appear. she was from home, after spending the whole noon at work. she look so pretty in that outfit of hers. she told me she was there to look for a nurse watch but in the end, she didn't even look for it. instead, she asked me whether i would like to meet her mom that very nite. i was bloody nervous of cos but i guess that its either now or never. so i met them after work. we walked ard orchard for awhile before settling down at starbucks. we bought a few drinks and talked about hidayah. it seems as if i've gotten to know her a whole lot more. her past, present and probably her future. her mom was cool, funky and definitely modern. someone who's friendly and open. she made me feel comfortable. she's someone i would definitely wanna talk to.

i bought her a nurse watch yesterday. for the first time, i saw her did the closing in bedok. it was absolutely tedious and now i know y she's tired most of the time. i wished i could help but i dun think they would allow a stranger to lend a helping hand. i knew that she would be hungry so i brought her a packet of her fav chicken rice. see, i'm a very thoughtful guy. romantic somemore. haha! so i send her home after that.

today, i had her watch replaced. the chain broke off and it couldn't be hung onto her uniform. we had dinner together and it was fun talking to her.

sayang, i've gotten to know u sooo much more through out these 4 days. from ur mom, ur sister and myself. ur the most wonderful gal i've ever met. u made me realized that forgiving others is easier than hating them. that no matter what, God is still there for me. that i should b confident of myself. that trust comes along wif understanding in a relationship. that u brighten up my life. yes dear, u have ur bad points. those are just reminders for me to realized that ur not perfect and i should NEVER, EVER expect you to be perfect. cos i do have my bad points too. n i do hope u can accept me for who i am. there are so many times, i just wanna turn n look at u, shed a few tears and tell u how much i appreciate someone like u in my life. one day sayang, i'll do just that. i pray that God will strengthen our relationship and i love u nur hidayah. ur my heartbeat. my sunshine. my love.

my wonderwall

life is but a strange concept. u never seem to ponder about certain things until it happened and affects u, either directly or indirectly. yet, we tend to take things for granted. we should refuse to accept certain things or fear certain knowledge structures because we simply cannot understand them. we fear what we do not understand.

we should, in fact, learn to meekly approach the unknown and slowly understand it. thus, turning it into an advantage of ours. learning is indeed never ending, whether its physically or academically. my lovely gf told me that knowledge is of abundance and everywhere. its really up to us whether we want to see it and learn from it. sumtimes, the saddest stories hold the greatest knowledge.

yet, love is something that one can never really understand. we were told different stories and concepts regarding. similarly, the concepts are different because they come from different perspectives from different people. in some cases, it may seem familiar but no two love stories are the same. why? because of the different people involved. each story has new characters, venues and plots. however, the love theme still stays.

yes, care and concern comes with love. so does the act of selflessness and responsibility. in fact, love teaches you to be patient and to be a better person. it is just how we perceive and view it as constructive or destructive. learn to trust God. it helps. He will decide ur path. embrace it. face the challenges along the way because it will only make u stronger. believe that He loves u. because that is why you are, where and what you are, now. learn to love Him. because there is nothing more pure between your love towards God and His love towards you. from there, learn to trust your partner because it helps in understanding each other.

love came into my life. a knocking on my door. i refuse to open the door initially but eventually, slowly opening the door bit by bit. the person at the other side was wonderful. she smiles and has a haughty personality. she maybe fierce but i guess there reasons for that. she makes me think about my life and where i want to be. a slap of realization i should say. and i eventually, opened the door to her. it took her awhile to take a step into my life. but i told her to take her time. and when she finally did, we were both smiling.

so take a look us now dear. i'm no longer an empty space. ur filling up my life and i'm thankful to Allah for letting me meet you. u brighten up my life by calling me up in the morning and accompanying me to sch. i love ur sister's adorable voice. i miss looking into your eyes each time we are apart and thank you for coming into my life.

uplift

pretty cool time i had so far. Alhamdulilah. so many things happened and i'm reali smiling wide nowadays.

i took her out to celebrate her belated birthday on 1st july. we went out to vivo city n spend the day together. to tell the truth, i was tired but really enjoyed her accompany. i dunno but i'm at peace whenever i look at her calm face. she makes me smile n the touch of her hands, simply provides the warmth i need. for once in my life, i feel wanted.

she cares for me, she worries about me, grabs my hands whenever i'm mad, looks into my eyes and we both smile automatically, notices how i always stare at her, holds my hand whenever she goes down the stairs in a pair of high heels and visits me whenever i work down at raffles.

we go out often. i wake up early just to have breakfast with her. i've met her mom a couple of times and just today, went out with her and her sister. and they are the friendliest of people. always smiling and seriously, i'm very comfortable with her. yes, i'm a terribly shy person but over time, i could deal with the nervous feeling and get used to the whole thing.

to nur hidayah, i am seriously into you. i am helplessly falling for you each day and i appreciate your efforts and the little things u do. even though i dun say, but i prefer meeting your mom and sister because the relationship wouldn't be THAT awkward. ur my heart beat and i pray that we'll stay together forever. I thank God for giving me the chance to meet you. for it is Him who decides everything. you strengthen my beliefs and darling, i owe u alot of things.

i love you dear. and ur engraved in my heart. thank you sayang.