metamorphosis

ok, look. i know its been ages since i updated my blog. a lot of things happened and changed my life.

i have ORD-ed. finally. after much bitching about it in my previous posts, i have actually reached that point of my life. i love it and am enjoying every single bit of my freedom now. i couldn't sleep the night before my ORD. i lay awake and kept on thinking about my future. i kept asking myself these questions:

• so where do i go from here?
• what have i learned after 2 years?
• how the hell did i go through those pain and sufferings?

the questions kept playing in my head for that night. den now i realized one thing now. it didn't matter. all of that didn't matter as long as God is with me. He was with back then, is with me now and will forever be with me. yes, it hurts being in the army. no joke. being forced against your will. i lost a fucking total of 50kg in the army. i worked my ass off. pure blood, sweat and tears. n God was with me all the time.

i miss my late grandparents. my paternal ones didn't get the chance to watch me grow to be who i am now. my maternal grandma left me in 2005. and often i think of them. almost every run i went through in the army, i did it for them. they indirectly gave me the strength. do note that i love you all with all my heart. for God and you guys.

i am back to working at my old place. old place, brand new me. n i met this wonderful 18yr old gal. she's the sweetest lil thing with the fiercest temper. n i freaking like her. A LOT. no, dun get me wrong. yes, i get attracted to pretty gals (just like u ppl!) but i'm afraid of them. pretty, popular and those with a ALOT of male frens. i'm just scared of them. so i stay away from them. but this gal is pretty, smart and definitely haughty. we have our regular 'debates' at work and i love teasing her. she made A LOT of differences in my life. indirectly. for once, cos of her i'm beginning to have more faith in my religion. n i reali reali owe her a whole load of gratitude. i love her for that. i reali do. she made me realize how forgiving one can b. realized that there's more to life than just what it seems. and i value her words. yeah, i sound as if i like her. yes i do. i admit it. n there's nothing wrong with that. love u loads Dayah. i think u know that already.

so i'll try to continue posting more often. cos i think this blog will be the journal of my life. loads of memories in here. n i can always look back, smile and let the tears roll...