my warcry..

i sat here. back from camp. tough week of pain.

had 3km route march on monday. cleverly used clear tape to bind the sole of my feet. this is actuali to prevent the massive blisters from hell to appear. trust me, blisters n flu are the 2 most hated things in BMTC. can't walk wif blisters on ur soles n u can't run wif a blocked nose plus a weak body.

i had 3 BCCT trainings. abit stupid but it brought out the fighter in me. most ppl won't know but i've a lil bit of martial arts training back when i was a kid. god knows wat happened but i seemed to b more comfortable as an unarmed soldier.

den had a crazy PT session by my specialists. 6 in all. i had ALOT of jumping jacks, push ups, bridging, alternate leg thrusts, flutter kicks and buddha claps. damn. lotsa pain. lotsa fun. they've taught me well abt mind games. i am now a reverse psycho freak.

had the creme de la creme training on friday. the 6km route march. took out alot from me. am not used to carrying an xtra 15kg of shit on my body n walked 6km. i find it strange how the more i stop for breaks (which we are FORCED to), the more tiring it gets. mayb lesser breaks n more walking will b better.

its been 3 days since i had did proper 100 push ups per day. but now i'm concentrating on my arms. read a quote in Men's Health which goes like this:

'i have no past. nor do i have any future. i live in the present. therefore, i am now'

which is true. i shouldn't b thinking of how fat i used to b. or how i'm gonna look like tmrw. cos i won't know if i'm gonna wake up tmrw n dat i already know dat wat's past is past. the main thing now is to live for today. look at the present. wat matters is, i finish my reps n sets!

should have asked my sis, azura, out today. but i felt too tired. sis, i promise i'll asked u out soon! i am confused. i am missing masturah. but she's not working today. i've asked her out though. but she didn't reply earlier on. till juz now. i am at the point where, i juz wanna go away from her. cos i reali dunno. abt going after her all over again. its scary. even for a soldier. sure it sounds funny, but it reali is scary. ur going out, all out, for someone whom u reali like. u wanna b wif. but she's remaining low. not telling u how she's feeling. or anything. n i juz wanna F.O from everything n juz b the fucker who's happy for her. but as in the words taken from the movie 'Hitch', u dunno how much it hurts every time u wake up n knowing dat the gal u love is being wif someone who's totally wrong for her. i dunno. u tell me.

have fun. 110 push ups n 200 crunches. go.