kapoooot....

last week. slack week.

for 4 days, we had log day. short for logistics day. its where we do nothing but tend to logistics. n i do mean nothing. only 1 training per day. had circuit on monday. dunno y but the training killed my thighs. had stiff thighs for the rest of the week. tuesday was E.T run. mixture of running n brisk walking. wed was IPPT specs training. seems like my sergeants wanna kill my thighs. did ALOT of thigh strengthening exercises. n guess wat? thurs was guard duty day. fook. i had weights training on thurs morning though. my fav training! haha. but took alot out of me n had to survive 12 hours of guard duty. yes, 4 hours of walking. roughly 12km worth of steps.

blisters, yes. fatigue, yes. sleep deprivation, yes for 24 hours. a white figure on a tree at ard 2am, yes. shall not talk abt it.

booked out yesterday. spent the whole day sleeping. blistering feet reali sucks. trying to puncture the whole thing. so the liquid will flow out n not cause any pain. seems like i can't.

woke up early today. went out wif shortcut to clifford centre. apparently, my former employer has opened a new shop at a Banquet foodcourt down at clifford centre. n yes, the foodcourt's new too. lotsa stuff down there. but the food ain't good. i still prefer good ol' Raffles Hospital. haha! bought my Men's Health magazine n went to Cash Converter wif shortcut. he wanted to sell off his flatbed scanner but the queue was too long n he was on stand by for mobilisation. so we screw everything off n went home.

went home. ate. read my magazine.

did some weights today. concentrating on my abdominals. its 110 push ups n 200 crunches per day now. seeing results. can't wait till i P.O.P. 2 more months.

i feel shy whenever gals look at me. should i feel shy in the first place? or should i b honoured?

guessed dat my former state makes me realise dat sometimes..ppl take beauty for granted. dat some ppl seems interested only at the physical aspect of others...instead of looking deeper. funny aint it?

chained

dats it. last day of my block leave. no more freedom.

i'm left wif shaving my head, goatee, clipping my nails and packing my stuff. hell's waiting for me back there. well. there are some things which u can't juz run away from. swallow the shit. nvm. it will only make me. as long as my motivation is there, i bet i won't fall out so easily.

am loving my body. need to work on my deltoids n abs. my upper body's looking good. haha! nah..wait till i POP den i'll show it off. yes. i am a metrosexual.

feel good today. up n running. refresh. NS. bring it on. haha! mcm real aje! been there for almost 4 months. other companies have already passed out. left wif my company n the newer batches of recruits. an old bird in the army now. but they say, the more u know den they demand higher standards from u. dun care, dun give a damn, dun give a fook n 10 more weeks left. wahaha!

booking out either on next thurs or fri. cos it gonna b Good Friday. so getting a day off. when the hell is she gonna say 'yes'!! haha! nah..not impatient but kinda scared. k..off liao. anything drop me a comment or something. see ya..

2 more days..

2 more days till my freedom is over. the holidays have made me realised lotsa things. dat time is damn valuable. when it flies by u, den its gone. juz like dat. took the liberty to train whenever i'm free. feel refresh n can't wait to start my BMT. lets see how tough i am before i start to break. trainings can only 'make' or 'break' u. for me, it can only 'make' me into a stronger person.

been thinking abt her. i should stop this u know. but reali can't. dunno y. dun ask me. ask her lah. so attractive. haha! her ways n style. her different moods. her smile. oh my god, her smile. wif kissable lips. hahaha!

didn't train today. wanted to rest my body. was suddenly vomiting last nite. upset stomach. won't give any more details for this. haha.

slept alot. i'm starting to relax. body needs rest. dunno if i should go out tmrw. last day to enjoy. NS has its ups. made me think abt my future n stuff. lotsa stuff which i reali reali wanna do now. juz need to wait till i ORD. haha! 2006. its not dat near nor is it far. gonna b different. for sure.

berhenti berharap..

if u have the chance, listen to this song by Sheila on 7.

aku tak percaya lagi
dengan apa yang kau beri
aku terdampar di sini
tersudut menunggu mati

she gave me this song last year when she juz broke up wif her ex bf. didn't reali knew wat the song meant till today. i juz sat there n listened to the song. i started to put myself into her shoes. den i realised dat she's no ordinary. she's one of those wonder women. if only, she gave me a chance...

bugis..

took a lil trip to bugis today. was supposed to meet faizal at 4pm today but ended up reaching at 4.15pm. but when i called him, he said he's still in class n will b reaching at 4.30pm. urgh! if only i knew..

was walking along the food junction when i saw this gal wif this particular hairstyle. damn familiar hairstyle. den i realised who she was! Miss Siti Azura! wassup sis! hahaha! she didn't noticed me at first. so i kept quiet n smiled at her. only den she saw me! haha! so funny! eh sis! ur hairstyle is unique arr! so far, ur the only person i know who has that particular hairstyle. suits u very well! haha! oh yah..my sis has a cool iPod Shuffle now! damn..waaay better den my Creative Muvo. but den again mine has radio n LCD display! wahahaha! was damn nice to see her again. unexpected yet cool. missin' ya sis!

waited for awhile n figured dat faizal ain't gonna b reaching any sooner so i took a lil walk to a certain 7-11 outlet. wanted to buy H2O n visit masturah too. wah liao..when i came in n opened the fridge's door, she was already smiling! urgh! in case u ppl do not know, i am a very shy guy. i have a very fierce outlook n i do not expect ppl to smile at me cos i'll feel very awkward. very very awkward. i will melt especially when masturah smiles. trust me, i tend to b very shy towards her. yes miss, i ni pemalu. a damn shy bugger. y? its obvious lah.

talked to mas for like 3mins before i started to feel extremely shy. cannot lah. she's my kryptonite. den i went off n waited for faizal. when he came, it was nearly 6pm. walked ard the whole of bugis junction before deciding to have dinner at swensen's. he had salmon n mushroom baked rice whereas i had chilli fish pasta. damn..baked rice tasted good sia. ordered coit tower n faizal took hot fudge bonanza split. wahaha! this is fattening! but once in awhile its ok lah. should have gone to Fish & Co but i wanna go wif masturah arr. dats if she says yes lah. still waiting. haha! nvm..see how it goes.

met cassie at starbucks n had a long talk wif her. cassie's my cool eurasian fren. cassie's short for cassandra. cassandra hale. stays ard my area n went to ite macpherson wif me. talking crap arr this gal. was telling me how she watched banned movies in la salle for knowledge purposes. haha! funny sia! went back wif her n we talked abt gays n lesbians. cool arr! great to have met up wif my macpherson frens. cool as ever.

overall..had a great day even though i didn't go to sentosa wif the guys. felt lazy n dun find any good reasons to go. ya..sentosa got gals but i dun think i should look far when she's right in front of me. bsides, u can wish for any gals in this world but does the gals want u? hahaha! wishin' to meet my wonder woman. juz who is she?

yeeeeeeesss!!

'its sunday morning, rain is falling'

had a slack day in camp this week. the worse in fact. doing sai kang. yes..sai kang. when the enhanced batch passed out, my company had to do volunteer work. all of us, n i reali mean ALL, hate sai kang. its reali stupid. they'll ask u to do stupid stuff. like carry this n dat, wash toilets, arrange chairs and so on. things dat dun reali matter during ur training. hate dat. reali hate dat.

went out to the I.T show down at suntec. suntec holds alot memories for me. fun shit. haha. miss those days. the halls were packed wif ppl. swarming wif heads n all. ppl touching brushing against my ass when i was walking thru the crowds. imagine those women walking thru. gone case liao. bought 2 games, mercenaries and need for speed 2. can enjoy my 1 week break liao!

watched 'Hitch' wif the guys. caught the 10pm show n ended up taking a cab home. dun reali care the movie's damn cool. will smith was suave in the movie. charismatic n charming. some of the methods of making the first move are reali creative. reflects so much on me. can b alot of help to others when their relationships are shaky. but when it reali comes to dear ol' self, i dun even know. great movie.

she sms-ed me during the show n made my day. made me smile and made me think. funny how someone can reali affect ur mood. smilies now.

i wanna go n smell the morning. sit at a high level n watch my surroundings. immerse myself wif thought thinkings. n juz wonder wat the hell are these feelings.

sai kang = shit work.

she

she's there. i'm here. i feel sad. missing her though. should b moving on. if ur reading this, give me a sign. love ya.

pump..pump..pump..pump until u all die!!

booked out earlier den usual today. instead of booking out on saturday, they changed the whole thing to friday! this is due to those idiots who are gonna collect their A levels results. hahaha! god knows wat kinda of shitty results are they gonna get. yeah..i'm evil! *grins*

slack day this week. had my first CO muster parade. my first damn parade. starched my boots and polished my boots. was looking my smartest dat day. den i look at the mirror n asked myself, why the hell am i here. den i think abt the flag raisings n lowerings, the bugle dat they play, how my family is doing, my frens are coping, the 'garang' looks of my platoon mates and my rifle. yeah..my rifle. y the hell was i given a rifle. den it dawned to me dat its reali not abt serving 2 years, bcoming fit and being the best soldier. its a simple reason dat ppl tend to overlook and deny. but once u bcome a soldier den u'll realised dat ur here, juz to protect the ones u love. n dats all the reason i need.

during the parade, the CO mentioned my company and told us dat we are now at the halfway mark of our journey while the rest of the companies will b passing out during the next 2 weeks. when ur standing still n hearing all these things, u can't help to shed tears. i can still remember the 1st time i enlisted. bald, wearing a brown canterbury polo t, jeans n adidas brown shoes. wif a red oakley bag on my back. so blur, sad n yet eager to serve my 2 years.

n look where i am now. standing here, reaching 4 months into training n watching a batch of my fellow recruits passing out while i still have another 3 more months to go. no longer can wear the polo t n jeans. booking out wif a fieldpack instead of other bags. getting fitter. things have changed alot.

had my first recruits nite also. funny skits by bravo coy, now known as bronco. they even have a professional dancer! hahaha! man..sometimes u guys juz crack me up. dat nite, i spent time looking at stars. hahaha! yeah..its been along time since i look at the nite sky. very very long time. its kinda like those still moments, where u juz look up n ur lost in ur own world. there's alot of things ppl tend to forget. like when was the last time u ate wif ur parents? u look at the clouds? the stars? actuali play in the rain again? hold ur partner's hand n juz whisper sweet nothings? hahaha...

am looking forward to block leave. probably wanna sit at the beach or mayb camp out! still wanting for anyone to follow. i wanna wake up smelling fresh air and running ard the beach. oh yah..gave up liao on chasing anyone. i think i'm to spend my whole life single n looking after my parents. time for me to get up n juz move on. no good to stay fixed on old love. mas, forget the deal we made. its better dat way..k? haha! have fun n keep on smiling miss!

am missing so many frens. should go out wif miss siti azura n gang. hahaha! she's gonna flip when she sees her real name. great ex classmate of mine. haha! should catch up arr sis! mayb during my block leave can plan up wif nahar. my macpherson frens. where are u guys?! n my ever so busy dover guys. kinda long entry but hey, gotta jot down my thoughts rite? one whole week's worth of entry. hahaha!

better. fitter. higher.