first of all..i muz say dat i am feeling very tired. God, thank u for the strength u've given me to overcome the week. i am reali thankful!
hectic week. had lotsa things going at one short. weights n circuits. ET walks n jogs. Route march. things are starting to heat up. the route march was exceptionally tough. though it was only 3km, it was also the most tiring. i can still remember the siren going off...telling us to beware of heat alert. yes..HEAT ALERT! weather was damn hot. i washed my shirt n without wringing the water off, i juz let it hang. 2 hours later, the shirt was totally dry. imagine dat, 2 hours to totally dehydrate a medium.
the route march was also an eye opener for me. it made me realise dat there are other ppl who need my help. my platoon holds the biggest of them all. morbidly obese. the biggest of them all. there are some of them who can't even walk 1km. its heart breaking to see ur platoon mates struggling on. there's something abt me. i dun like see ppl in pain. for some goddamn reason, i turned around. tugged n pulled 2 of my platoon mates till we reach the halfway point. along the way, i can see their eyes beginning to redden and the anguish facial expression. i almost cried wif them. y? its juz sad. to see them carrying the pain n yet pushing on, not trying to give up n ur juz fitter den them n walking ahead of them. its been 3 months n being in the same platoon, doesn't mean having to work together but to suffer together. as they say, never leave ANYONE behind.
when we reached the halfway point, they thanked me for helping them. continuing back the rest of the journey, we kept on pulling n pushing one another on. my bag tore due to too much pulling and tugging. i had bleeding blisters on both of my feet. its difficult to carry urself wif an xtra load of 15kg n den tugging 2 other ppl who weight more den 120kg each. but somehow i did it n i'm glad. i realised my limits n have pushed it even higher. n so do my buddies. on dat very day, i salute my bigger comrades for not giving up. u guys earned my respect big time. nothing else can replace the determination u guys have. i may b smaller n fitter but hey, its all in the heart. tears shed n dried, bros till we die. respect shown n given. keep up the good work eagle 1.
dunno wats going on in my life now. living each day as it is. love life? dunno. can't seem to grasp it. i'm somewhere lost in my old love. i miss her n i do want her back. but it takes two hands to clap..yes no? i dunno..i juz wanna go get away. dun wanna contact her n juz remain in solitude. i am fool when it comes to love. hahaha. yeah..i'm a reali shy guy who's a sucker when it comes to love. 2 more weeks b4 block leave. wanna hang out at east coast for awhile. anyone wanna join?
anyway, for mas..here's a the chorus of a song:
You should let me love you
Let me be the one to give you everything you want and need
Baby good love and protection
Make me your selection
Show you the way love's supposed to be
Baby you should let me love you, love you, love you
would any gals say yes when a guy say the same to them? go figure...
Sunday, February 27, 2005
Saturday, February 19, 2005
CHINGAY!
book out day lor! b4 booking out, had a terrible time. marched 3km wif ard 15kg on my body. took the whole coy nearly 2 hours to finish the march. its time to step up the pace. lotsa commotion n time limits. punishments. sometimes, u juz wonder whether ur in the rite place or not. last year i was juz a normal civilian but now, i'm wearing green n being called a 'recruit'. the lowest form of life in singapore.
went back home in a cab wif my taxi buddies. the cabbie was a rowdy bugger. talked n talked n talked. to those ppl out there, do not go on talking to tired recruits for long. it will only irritate them further. reached home in abt 20 mins. the cabbie was a speed demon.
changed up n threw my dirty laundry into the washing machine. went out within 2 hours. haha! went to bugis wif nurdin n hidir. had my lunch at my ol' working place. ate chicken rice n tom yam soup! haha! i love the place. brings so much memories. ppl down there dun recognise me anymore..until they take a second look. too thin! dats wat they told me. haha. army kills.
den after lunch, went to say hi to masturah. she's working at a 7-11 near my ol' working place. damn, if only she worked there earlier. haha! she said she wasn't gonna b shy when i'll b there but it was totally different thing juz now! she say me n started to smile n laugh even though she was serving this ang moh guy. this ang moh guy was asking abt a card so he could call back home n mas was looking at me n asked me 'eh btul kan? world card leh pakai public phone kan?'. haha! n she kept laughing n smiling. the ang moh guy was giving me this funny look n den looking at masturah n den looking at me again. i think he knows. hahaha!
after dat we went to watch chingay parade down at orchard. damn fun! lotsa ppl! woohoo!! caught some pics wif my digicam. hahaha! love those mobiles! somehow, i think the indians are good at these kinda parades. cool shit! haha!
its been great to see u again mas. seriously. u've lost weight! too much smoking lah sayang..cut down n u'll slowly quit. didn't say much juz now cos i reali didn't know wat to say. like wat ronan keating sang: 'you said it best, when u said nothing at all'..n yeah dat was so true juz now. no dear, u dun look funny, kental or very awkward wif ur glasses on. in fact, i would've preferred u wif glasses on. no, ur hair's colour is not DAT obvious but i can still see the colour. sumtimes its better to listen to other ppl's opinions n den compromise regarding certain issues. black hair's cool n it reali goes well wif dark skin. trust me cos i think ur pretty. sorry for not smiling back when u smiled at me. i was sooo shy when u smiled at me dat i forgot wat to do. yeah..i am shy towards u. dun ask y. i juz do. ur shoes? nothing's wrong wif them! i was smiling cos i used to have a pair of those..but of different colour. urs are green whilst mine were white. n they were my fav pair of shoes! sometimes i forget abt things. especially nowadays wif so many things going on. n sometimes i can b ignorant abt stuff. wasn't making fun of ur english juz now but was rather amazed how u've progressed. n to b frank, i've forgotten abt teaching u english. hahaha! thanks for refreshing my memory! there so many things which happened during dat time. some were great whilst some were bad. but teaching u english, clipping ur nails cos u didn't know how to, having dinner wif u down by changi beach, u singing a malay song to me by the beach, u being my motivation for surviving NS are some of the greatest things in my life. n yes, i do miss u..
went back home in a cab wif my taxi buddies. the cabbie was a rowdy bugger. talked n talked n talked. to those ppl out there, do not go on talking to tired recruits for long. it will only irritate them further. reached home in abt 20 mins. the cabbie was a speed demon.
changed up n threw my dirty laundry into the washing machine. went out within 2 hours. haha! went to bugis wif nurdin n hidir. had my lunch at my ol' working place. ate chicken rice n tom yam soup! haha! i love the place. brings so much memories. ppl down there dun recognise me anymore..until they take a second look. too thin! dats wat they told me. haha. army kills.
den after lunch, went to say hi to masturah. she's working at a 7-11 near my ol' working place. damn, if only she worked there earlier. haha! she said she wasn't gonna b shy when i'll b there but it was totally different thing juz now! she say me n started to smile n laugh even though she was serving this ang moh guy. this ang moh guy was asking abt a card so he could call back home n mas was looking at me n asked me 'eh btul kan? world card leh pakai public phone kan?'. haha! n she kept laughing n smiling. the ang moh guy was giving me this funny look n den looking at masturah n den looking at me again. i think he knows. hahaha!
after dat we went to watch chingay parade down at orchard. damn fun! lotsa ppl! woohoo!! caught some pics wif my digicam. hahaha! love those mobiles! somehow, i think the indians are good at these kinda parades. cool shit! haha!
its been great to see u again mas. seriously. u've lost weight! too much smoking lah sayang..cut down n u'll slowly quit. didn't say much juz now cos i reali didn't know wat to say. like wat ronan keating sang: 'you said it best, when u said nothing at all'..n yeah dat was so true juz now. no dear, u dun look funny, kental or very awkward wif ur glasses on. in fact, i would've preferred u wif glasses on. no, ur hair's colour is not DAT obvious but i can still see the colour. sumtimes its better to listen to other ppl's opinions n den compromise regarding certain issues. black hair's cool n it reali goes well wif dark skin. trust me cos i think ur pretty. sorry for not smiling back when u smiled at me. i was sooo shy when u smiled at me dat i forgot wat to do. yeah..i am shy towards u. dun ask y. i juz do. ur shoes? nothing's wrong wif them! i was smiling cos i used to have a pair of those..but of different colour. urs are green whilst mine were white. n they were my fav pair of shoes! sometimes i forget abt things. especially nowadays wif so many things going on. n sometimes i can b ignorant abt stuff. wasn't making fun of ur english juz now but was rather amazed how u've progressed. n to b frank, i've forgotten abt teaching u english. hahaha! thanks for refreshing my memory! there so many things which happened during dat time. some were great whilst some were bad. but teaching u english, clipping ur nails cos u didn't know how to, having dinner wif u down by changi beach, u singing a malay song to me by the beach, u being my motivation for surviving NS are some of the greatest things in my life. n yes, i do miss u..
Saturday, February 12, 2005
tsk..tsk
went out today. didn't have any plans until someone told me abt a picnic down at east coast! damn u army buggers! u guys were planning this whole thing since last week n only confirmed it this morning! n someone told me to come down..at 3pm! crazy buggers. n i didn't went for the picnic cos it was rather late. dun expect me to show my face n den stay for ard 2 hours n den go home. woodlands and east coast abit too far for me to waste 2 hours.
ended up..hanging ard at causeway point. met up wif hilmi n zul majid. haha! yeah..zulkifli majid. used to b my twin back during sec sch. same name, same size n same interest. till he lost a whole LOT of weight! dunno how he did it..but it was amazing. followed zul to GNC to get his supplements. thought of getting mine too but zul wanted the promo thingy. nvm..i can wait till tmrw. can go out wif recruit sree manee raj to get my supplements!
zul did something stupid. he didn't checked his change after paying for the supplements. soon after we left, he noticed dat he only had $2 in his wallet. blur cock siak! hahaha! he got all mad n fussy! went back to the shop n told them wat happened. seems like the cashier mistakenly took zul's $100 change. hahaha! u should have seen zul's face. funny seh! den hilmi joined us for dinner down at pizza hut. the baked beefballs down at pizza hut was good! damn good! haha! hilmi told us abt the things he did..haha! shall not say these kinda things down here. for my ears only. den hilmi told me dat he say adila in the train few days back. seems like he had quite a conversation wif my ex gf. adila seems to know dat i'm in NS n asked hilmi whether i'm still angry at her. n my idiotic fren told her dat i've forgotten everything abt it n dat i'm now a lover boy. wft! hahaha!
nah...adila, i've not forgotten everything. tell u the truth, i probably won't. somehow, a big part of me reali hate u. the humiliation n all. hypocrite. seems like u no longer wear a tudung cos u KNOW u aren't showing the appropriate behaviour for someone who wears one. call me a bastard, a petty jackass n wateva. i dun care abt u, i dun need to know abt me n seriously, juz F O from this world. F U U?
oh yah..back to my journal. haha! letting off some steam. bought my optical goggles and a Men's Health Magazine. goggles rock big time. see things cleary underwater. haha! interesting shit in the mag. i managed to get a her-watch. hahaha! wif the box n all. to the person who will b receiving the watch, its kinda like a gift from me. n do accept it.lotsa gals today. lotsa babes. but somehow, i ain't ready to dive into a relationship again. n seriously, i may behave like a goddamn bastard but i reali dun have the heart to flirt and go screwing other gals ard. yeah..dats me. n i like myself. haha! one woman man. got some pics taken earlier. enjoy!
ended up..hanging ard at causeway point. met up wif hilmi n zul majid. haha! yeah..zulkifli majid. used to b my twin back during sec sch. same name, same size n same interest. till he lost a whole LOT of weight! dunno how he did it..but it was amazing. followed zul to GNC to get his supplements. thought of getting mine too but zul wanted the promo thingy. nvm..i can wait till tmrw. can go out wif recruit sree manee raj to get my supplements!
zul did something stupid. he didn't checked his change after paying for the supplements. soon after we left, he noticed dat he only had $2 in his wallet. blur cock siak! hahaha! he got all mad n fussy! went back to the shop n told them wat happened. seems like the cashier mistakenly took zul's $100 change. hahaha! u should have seen zul's face. funny seh! den hilmi joined us for dinner down at pizza hut. the baked beefballs down at pizza hut was good! damn good! haha! hilmi told us abt the things he did..haha! shall not say these kinda things down here. for my ears only. den hilmi told me dat he say adila in the train few days back. seems like he had quite a conversation wif my ex gf. adila seems to know dat i'm in NS n asked hilmi whether i'm still angry at her. n my idiotic fren told her dat i've forgotten everything abt it n dat i'm now a lover boy. wft! hahaha!
nah...adila, i've not forgotten everything. tell u the truth, i probably won't. somehow, a big part of me reali hate u. the humiliation n all. hypocrite. seems like u no longer wear a tudung cos u KNOW u aren't showing the appropriate behaviour for someone who wears one. call me a bastard, a petty jackass n wateva. i dun care abt u, i dun need to know abt me n seriously, juz F O from this world. F U U?
oh yah..back to my journal. haha! letting off some steam. bought my optical goggles and a Men's Health Magazine. goggles rock big time. see things cleary underwater. haha! interesting shit in the mag. i managed to get a her-watch. hahaha! wif the box n all. to the person who will b receiving the watch, its kinda like a gift from me. n do accept it.lotsa gals today. lotsa babes. but somehow, i ain't ready to dive into a relationship again. n seriously, i may behave like a goddamn bastard but i reali dun have the heart to flirt and go screwing other gals ard. yeah..dats me. n i like myself. haha! one woman man. got some pics taken earlier. enjoy!
Thursday, February 10, 2005
chinese new year..
3rd day of my long weekend. due to Chinese New Year!! been bored since the past 2 days. literally had nothing to do. cycled, ran n did some weights. wanna go out but most of the shops are closed due to CNY. urgh! i hate being bored!
wanna get a new xbox game. can no longer sit n do nothing!! probably gonna go watch Constantine tmrw. need to get out. restless at home! hahaha! heard the movie's good too! all the more i should see it. reali need to get a pair of swimming goggles which has degrees! short sighted lah dey! wanna practice my breast stroke. how come i can swim freestyle n when i'm learning to do breast stroke, i can't grasp the technique?? should start swimming regularly! need to train up..get back my stamina. i lack stamina for swimming and running. haiz!
i'm not slimming down. oh god..y?? the only thing dats happening to my body is dat its shaping and toning up. maaan..i need to go down 2 size smaller. but..i'm loving how my body looks like now. hahaha! cool biceps and triceps..n hardy chest!! woohoo!! need to get hydoxycut again..my supply of hydoxycut is depleting. n those supplements ain't cheap!! by the end of february..i want a cool shapely chest. its on the waaaaaaaaaaaay...
oh yah..have to send a watch to someone. need to give her a v-day present. she gave me a watch a few years back n i've yet to send her a gift to thank her! yes..yes..i am rather late. but lotsa things happened..dis n dat..never contact n so on. but now since got the chance, i might as well send rite? haha! i need new shoes!! leather shoes..dat goes well wif polo tees, shirts, jeans and pants. something dats versatile. haha!
so the things i need are:
wanna get a new xbox game. can no longer sit n do nothing!! probably gonna go watch Constantine tmrw. need to get out. restless at home! hahaha! heard the movie's good too! all the more i should see it. reali need to get a pair of swimming goggles which has degrees! short sighted lah dey! wanna practice my breast stroke. how come i can swim freestyle n when i'm learning to do breast stroke, i can't grasp the technique?? should start swimming regularly! need to train up..get back my stamina. i lack stamina for swimming and running. haiz!
i'm not slimming down. oh god..y?? the only thing dats happening to my body is dat its shaping and toning up. maaan..i need to go down 2 size smaller. but..i'm loving how my body looks like now. hahaha! cool biceps and triceps..n hardy chest!! woohoo!! need to get hydoxycut again..my supply of hydoxycut is depleting. n those supplements ain't cheap!! by the end of february..i want a cool shapely chest. its on the waaaaaaaaaaaay...
oh yah..have to send a watch to someone. need to give her a v-day present. she gave me a watch a few years back n i've yet to send her a gift to thank her! yes..yes..i am rather late. but lotsa things happened..dis n dat..never contact n so on. but now since got the chance, i might as well send rite? haha! i need new shoes!! leather shoes..dat goes well wif polo tees, shirts, jeans and pants. something dats versatile. haha!
so the things i need are:
- xbox game
- optical goggles
- hydroxycut
- a her-watch
- shoes
n dun ask how come i got the money to buy these stuff when my allowance is less den $400!! savings arr..hahaha! oh yah..if u guys are reading my blog, leave a tag ya!!
Sunday, February 06, 2005
to endure and excel
to endure and excel. the motto for fitness specialists and physical training instructors. i find the motto damn interesting. its reali all abt progressing. if u can endure the time, pain and torture then u've juz excelled in pushing ur limits higher. n army life's like dat. u juz gotta learn how to endure in order to excel. n i'm trying my best learning how to endure the pain. as odd as it may sound, sometimes i smile when i'm in pain. when i have to endure in push up position, in buddha clap position, leg raising position n so on.
dunno how many ppl do reali read my blog. but i think this is probably the only place where i can pour out my thoughts and feeling to my heart's content! life in the army is tough n boring. its monotonous. ur body aches all day. but surprisingly, i manage to breeze thru each day as it is. i thank God for giving me the strength and determination to carry on.
next week is chinese new year. gonna have a whole week off. feeling rather scared cos i might put on weight. have to plan out wat i gotta do next week. i probably go run 3km ard the stadium and go to the gym. hope can lose another 20kg more. cos i already lost 10kg! wanna see a new zul at the end of bmt. a slick, cool and smart zul.
v-day's ard the corner. i dun reali celebrate it cos its against my religion to believe in such things. den again, to those who DO celebrate it...do cherish the ones u love. cos u never know when they've got to go. u'll never know the true value of someone till dat someone disappears from ur life.
my life's a bore. i look forward to book out days cos its the only time where i have my sanity checked. there ain't no gals in army n the rest of the other guys are botak. haha! so its nice change of sight once a week! oh yah...had my guard duty last week. terrible time.
tekong's a scary place to b at nite. trust me. reali scary. lotsa things come out at nite. seen stupid stuff which i ain't gonna mention. but somehow it has boosted my courage. had to walk for a couple of hours ard the whole island. den had a few hours of rest n den back to prowling again. did the whole thing for 4 times over n over again. had alot of blisters and trust me, i was reali thinking of juz reporting sick the very next day. thank God for giving me the strength and determination to carry on. its been 2 months n i've yet to report sick. i am thankful to God for giving me a healthy state of mind and body. thanks mas for replying to my sms when i was bored dat day. u've been a very nice lady. thank u soo much! muackz!
learnt how to appreciate time given to me these days. hey mas, i've changed. i've learnt lotsa things. n i'm thankful. wif each passing day, i've learnt to believe in God and myself. i still miss u though. hopefully ur smiling always.
livin' each day as if it's the last. enduring so i can excel. lovin like never b4.
dunno how many ppl do reali read my blog. but i think this is probably the only place where i can pour out my thoughts and feeling to my heart's content! life in the army is tough n boring. its monotonous. ur body aches all day. but surprisingly, i manage to breeze thru each day as it is. i thank God for giving me the strength and determination to carry on.
next week is chinese new year. gonna have a whole week off. feeling rather scared cos i might put on weight. have to plan out wat i gotta do next week. i probably go run 3km ard the stadium and go to the gym. hope can lose another 20kg more. cos i already lost 10kg! wanna see a new zul at the end of bmt. a slick, cool and smart zul.
v-day's ard the corner. i dun reali celebrate it cos its against my religion to believe in such things. den again, to those who DO celebrate it...do cherish the ones u love. cos u never know when they've got to go. u'll never know the true value of someone till dat someone disappears from ur life.
my life's a bore. i look forward to book out days cos its the only time where i have my sanity checked. there ain't no gals in army n the rest of the other guys are botak. haha! so its nice change of sight once a week! oh yah...had my guard duty last week. terrible time.
tekong's a scary place to b at nite. trust me. reali scary. lotsa things come out at nite. seen stupid stuff which i ain't gonna mention. but somehow it has boosted my courage. had to walk for a couple of hours ard the whole island. den had a few hours of rest n den back to prowling again. did the whole thing for 4 times over n over again. had alot of blisters and trust me, i was reali thinking of juz reporting sick the very next day. thank God for giving me the strength and determination to carry on. its been 2 months n i've yet to report sick. i am thankful to God for giving me a healthy state of mind and body. thanks mas for replying to my sms when i was bored dat day. u've been a very nice lady. thank u soo much! muackz!
learnt how to appreciate time given to me these days. hey mas, i've changed. i've learnt lotsa things. n i'm thankful. wif each passing day, i've learnt to believe in God and myself. i still miss u though. hopefully ur smiling always.
livin' each day as if it's the last. enduring so i can excel. lovin like never b4.
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