.+:+cos its you n me+:+.

am coping well now. been almost 3 weeks since grandma left us. n so much has happened. after her funeral, i ran 8km. the last 2 rounds were painful. tears were rolling down my cheeks n sumhow, i feel as if she's smiling down at me. i miss u grandma n i pray dat ur watching over me n guiding me to b a better bugger. God bless ur soul.

ran my AHM. n i feel good abt it. running 6.9km. wif thousands of singaporeans. haha. jam packed. beautiful morning. n nothing beats running on a beautiful day. its a pretty cool feeling to run along the benjamin sheares bridge wif ppl cheering u on. looking forward to the run again next year. hopefully, i'll b ready for the 12km.

i'm starting to enjoy staying in camp. though at times, boredom reigns, but its still better den going home n think abt stuff. sumhow it has become my escape from my problems. yes, i do think abt stuff in camp but whenever i need sum time for myself, i can juz lock the store n wonder. 13 more months to go.

miss masturah, u seem to come n go in my life. i find it very strange. i would usually try to avoid messaging u n stuff cos i reali reali dun wanna feel anything for u. but its juz sooo hard. especially when u sms me suddenly. i dunno y i'm feeling for u n i dun understand y. i wanna run away from u cos i dun wanna feel this love kinda shit. cos u would say that we can't b together. God knows y. if only can switch places for one day arr. den u'll know. baru padan muka!! see how it feels like to keep missing someone everyday. stressful. and sorry abt the prank call. was juz missing ur voice. ain't the police but juz a mandai hill soldier. haha. n ppl, can u pls ask this gal y she dun wanna have lunch or dinner wif me?? n mas, if ur reading this, can u pls tell us the reason? cos ur attached? attached but available? single but not available? single? double? triple? mcm burger! haha! ANSWERS!!

wonder how my sis is doing. she said she's been rather busy these days. nvm azura, one of these days, we'll meet up wif the rest of the gang. barry's in tekong now. heard that alot of shit happened in there. hahaha. funny stuff. haiz..i miss my frens. love their crap. soon man, once i ORD, its hello Temasek Poly! hello rugby! hello FREEDOOOOOM!!

that which does not 'break' you today, only serves to 'make' you tomorrow...

|+|+|+|bottom of every bottom|+|+|+|

not in camp today. sumthing unexpected happened. n i'm feeling very very lost.

was abt to book in last nite. ard 9.20pm. my dad called n broke the news to me. he said 'zul, kau kat mana? dah sampai camp eh? eh..nenek meninggal. dia baru meninggal tadi!'. those words. unbelievable words. i stopped dead in my tracks. in the middle of the goddamn road. n all i could say was 'ok, zul try amik leave untuk besok!'.

my grandma passed away at 2107hrs. that's 9.07pm. i attended her funeral today n for a moment i feel that i'm lost. i watched her forlorn face while praying for her. she looked so peaceful. n its a wonderful thing to see her in that state. u see, she was bedridden for 7 years. fell down n couldn't move till the day she left us. but that didn't break her. each time i visit her, she would look at me n made sum gestures to acknowledge me. n i can see the sparkle of happiness in her eyes whenever she sees her grandchildren visiting her. she's a fighter i tell u. n to eagle coy ppl, it runs in the blood. now u know y i'm a chiongster.

couldn't help crying over the loss of someone dear to me. to see her finally going to a better place. her funeral opened my eyes to certain questions i've never posed myself to. y this? y that? y her? y me? so many things to ask. n only in time, God will show me the answers. n to my grandma, may u rest in peace. i've always loved u. on this sunday, i dedicate my AHM run to u. love u always.