confused

sitting here. confused. tired. lost. totally wiped out.

work has taken a toll on me. was all out thru out the whole of last week. did my job. yet, i've to to jobs which belong to others. i dun understand. am angry. upset. n such. bleargh. 7 more months.

i dun understand y i'm having feelings for her. despite so many things that have happened, she's still in my head. dunno y. urgh. i hate this. she's my light yet at times, she's the one who puts my flame out. keeps me up but sumtimes, i fall cos of her. dun get me wrong. i feel as if i'm never good enuff for her. she has everything. me? nothing. no looks, no nothing. n yes, i feel inferior. ok, i have inferior complexity. but if u were in my place, u would feel the same. she's waaay up there n i'm waaay down there. totally confused. blur lah. if i tell her, den she'll freak it out. but if i dun, i'll turn into a freak. if i go away, den i won't know how things are gonna work out. but i stay, i might b disappointed. damn it. i hate the position where i am now.

counting down.